Thursday, May 28, 2009

Goodbye world!

Goodbye world!

Almost There...

So this is the second to last post I'm going to do. The next one is only to satisfy my OCDness. But I have a few things to say before that. First off, I have really enjoyed writing on this (I might even make a new one). I think my favorite part of it was decorating, but that's okay :)I am sad that this year is over, but my excitement for next year just squashes that. So...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Heart

Um, I wrote this poem a while ago when I was depressed so I don't want anyone to think that this is what I feel now. It's the exact opposite now :) But, anyway, I used this for the writing contest thing we're suppose to do:

It’s sad and it’s lonely,
Its left in the street.
It has no one to love it,
And no one to meet.

All it wants is a friend,
Maybe something more.
No one seems to like it,
Of that it is sure.

It looks for an adventure,
But is always shot down.
By anything and everything,
Always wearing a frown.

Only every once in a while,
With it stumbles across,
A hope in disguise,
Finding nothing but loss.

This thing that is gloomy,
This thing that can’t start,
It belongs to me,
Because it’s my heart.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

UGH!

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, UGH! This weekend I have homework in all seven of my classes! In guitar I have to practice my term project. In biology I have to do more of my plant project. In geography I have to do that test review. In English I have to do all that I missed on Thursday. In math I have a giant packet to do. In French I have a friggen' four page writing test. In drama I have to work on my scene with Mitchel. And in Honors English I have to do that writing contest and this and a whole bunch of other stuff! Plus I have to finish a book by Tuesday for Loureiro and read The Scarlet Pimpernel by the end of the year! It's like all the teachers suddenly realized, "Ohmigosh, it's the end of the year and my students still have stuff to learn!" I don't mean to sound mean, but it's true! And now I think I'm dying because I keep coughing up bloody phlegm! It's gross! And I'm tired! And I'm suppose to have a sleepover with Taylor tonight! UGH!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Love

Over the years, you learn a little. A little here, a little there. Most of it is completely useless and stuff that you will never again use in your life after the final exams, but some of it sticks. Some of the things you learn over the years change and grow and evolve from one thing to another. And when I say that I, of course, mean love.

Now I don’t think that love is something that can easily be put down in words. You may read about a kiss in a book, or see someone holding hands on TV, but that isn’t it. It is a twist of anticipation in the pit of your stomach. A taste on the roof of your mouth. The sound of a fluttering heartbeat. It is a feeling that consumes your entire body, weaving ever fiber of your being with it’s delicate threads. And it is constantly transforming.

A full grown man who is married and has many children has a very different perspective on love that a adolescent girl barely halfway through her teens. But both feel love all the same. Some people say that young adults don’t feel love. But who are they to dictate what love is? Who are they to say that something such as love has any definition at all?

Our entire world revolves around one simple fact: We all fall in love. Whether it is a crush a five year old has on his or her classmate, or a couple that have been married for eighty years. No one can deny feelings for others. We may hide them and lock them away from the world, but they are still there. We base our lives, our society, everything about us on love.

It is like the wind. I know that may sound very cliché, but it is true. Sometimes the wind blow in gale-force, sometimes it doesn’t blow at all. Sometimes it is small and tentative before slowing growing larger and larger. Or it can even suddenly appear out of nowhere. No one has any control over which way the wind blows. Wind is something that surrounds all of us, whether we feel it or not. As is with love.

I know that right now I think that I have the strongest feelings for someone you can possibly have. But a year from now, these may seem like trivial infatuations. I flow through the canals of love, letting it take me where it pleases. Letting the love wash over me, or simply wash me onto the shore. It is in that canal that we spend our lives, growing and developing our essential being. Us. Love has always been here, and it always will be. Waiting for us to embrace it.

Mum

This is a poem I wrote for my mum yesterday...

Mum, oh what to say.
Mum, oh what to do.
I look around thinking,
Thinking of what to say about you.

Words don’t seem to be enough,
Not working for me at all.
They can’t describe you right,
I think I’m trying to stall.

I would try some flattery
Maybe even a funny cliché.
But I think I’d kill it,
I make everything blasé.

So maybe I’ll just come right out,
Say what’s on my mind.
You’re here, you’re now,
And you’re certainly one of a kind.

You make me smile and you make me cry,
You make it all alright.
You hold my hand and comfort me,
You help me through the night.

I love your company,
I love you time.
You’re my movie buddy,
You’re mine.

It’s rather hard to explain,
To put this into words.
But I’ll try and say it best I can:
Mum, I love you.

300

I read three hundred pages on Mother's Day. That's a lot...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Story Numero Uno!

This isn't actually my first story, not by far. This isn't even the first story I've published on here. But I have nothing better to do or to say, so I'm putting this on here. No comments please :)

I sit and stare out into the torrents of rain dismally. Not five minutes ago there had been sunshine and I was thinking about taking a walk. But now, with all hopes of spending a little bit of my May afternoon dashed, I settle down to write my report.
It is about my recent journey all the way to Vermont to study a possible new dragonfly. Some old, lonely farmer who wanted his five minutes of fame. It had turned out to only be an Ebony Jewelwing, but it was still a good excuse to get out of Washington. The old man had been very friendly and I quite enjoyed his company. The only drawback to the trip was that now I have to write a report on every second I spent there.
I tap my fingers lightly on the keyboard and listen to the patter-patter of the rain on my window. I have a fairly nice office considering how new I am here.
There is a window that lets me see out into some nameless park where people go running by and buying ice-cream everyday. I sometimes go out and get some myself when the weather permits; which is very rare here. The room in which I work is very long and narrow, and it looks even smaller with my large oak desk hogging up most of the visual space. But other than that there are a few chairs on the opposite side, a small sofa, a table with a coffee pot, and a lamp. Not bad for a beginner.
I was appointed head of the Office for Insect Research and Development. That means that I get to know all the Level 5 clearance information on how the government is creating bugs to use instead of soldiers. Right now it’s a bunch of scientists with nothing better to do, but I see potential for the future. I also have to sign a lot of papers letting people go all over the world to look at bugs. Insects is a more appropriate use of language, but it’s all the same to me.
A lot of people hate me because I got this job over them. There are men who have been in this field for over fifty years and they got passed over. I had barely worked in the section for a year when the chose me. I have a couple of theories on that. First, no one wants to listen to a bunch of old guys telling them all about their life every time they come into their office (which I’m sure they would do as I have had personal experience in this particular subject), and the second is simply because of my degree. I have a major in Arthropods and a minor in microbiology. An odd mix, granted, but I manage. Fresh out of college, I know everything new there is to know about bugs, and still remember it all.
The only problem in my high position of power is that everything I do is severely scrutinized and I have to watch everything I do. One mistake and I am out of here. Plus there’s all that money tracking. But I knew that would come with the territory.
I spend a couple minutes writing, then stand up to stretch my legs. It’s roughly ten in the morning, so still early enough to have some coffee. I take the last cup and turn off the machine. I always take my coffee black, mostly because I am too lazy to sweeten it up every time, but also because it wakes me up and makes me feel more alert.
I go back to my desk and sit down, not wanting to do the inevitable job. The almost completely blank pages stares at me as if it’s daring me to put writing it off any longer. I am suppose to turn it in this afternoon to the Director, but that’s not likely to happen.
Director Catch has always been exceptionally nice to me, and every since my promotion (which I believe he had a hand in helping) has been cutting me a lot of slack. I don’t mind, but I know it’s not a good habit to be getting into.
I decide that I wont leave this room until the paper is over.
Just as I star getting into the swing of things and am actually making headway on the essay, I hear a light knocking on my door.
“Come in,” I say and the door swings open. I had it oiled not to long ago because the squeak was beginning to drive me mad.
“Mr. Brown is here to see you. He said it was urgent,” Lillian says. She is my newly appointed secretary. I don’t know how I survived without one for so long. She is my savoir. Without her everything I do would be a mess and I would never get anything done.
I stand and walk over to the door. Mr. Brown happens to be my fiancé. The door closes silently and we press our faces together smiling. David pulls something out from behind his back and I draw back.
“I thought these might brighten your day,” he says and hands me a bouquet of chrysanthemums.
“Aw, sweetheart, that is so nice,” I say and take the flowers from him, giving him a quick kiss on the way. I walk over to my table and slide a vase out from underneath. I always keep on there just in case for when a situation like this one arises.
I set the flowers neatly in the pot and sit on the sofa, motioning for David to join me. He does and soon we are nothing but a tangle of arms and legs intertwined and breathing as one.
I don’t know how long later my phone rings. I slowly ease out of his arms and pick up the black devil.
“Hello?” I ask.
“Is this Miss Samantha Crosswood?” asks a firm, male voice.
“Yes it is. How can I help you?” I continue.
“My name is Noah Roberts and I work for a sector of the government called Exploration of Islands and Their Inhabitants. You may not know that a branch of the government like this exists, but I am here to inform you otherwise. We recently made a discovery of… some magnitude and would like you to be a part of the research team. The details are top secret and if you wished to learn them you would have to sign a contract, but we would love to have on as part of our team.”
I sit for several seconds in stunned silence. I don’t know what to say. Exploration of Islands and Their Inhabitants? I’ve never heard of such a thing. I weigh the options in my head and respond:
“I would love to come and learn a little more about this… project… of yours. When can I come in?” I ask.
“How about 3:30 this afternoon?” he asks.
I look at my watch and say, “sounds wonderful. Where?”
“Seventh floor, room 2289. See you then,” and he hangs up before I can say anything else.
“What was that all about?” David asks me.
“I really don’t know. But I do know that at 3:30 I’m going up to the seventh floor.”
David’s eyes widen in surprise. The seventh floor holds all the most important people such as the heads of security and even the Director. I haven’t been up there save for a few times to go to meetings and meet with the Director personally. Having your own office upstairs means that you must be a pretty important person.
It’s around 10:45 now and I figure I had better get that paper done before I go out to lunch. David and I kiss goodbye and I sit down and let the gentle tapping of the rain on my window set my off on the rest of my trip.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

L.A. Meyer

So I'm reading this series that doesn't really have a name, but we can call it The Adventures of Bloody Jack. I've finished the first one and am onto the second one. I'm actually about halfway through with it. All I have to say is that these books are amazing! I love them! I would suggest to anyone and everyone that they should read them. They are absolutely fantastic. I'll tell you all the names in oder because there are seven. First is Bloody Jack, second is Curse of the Blue Tattoo, third is Under the Jolly Roger, then In the Belly of the Bloodhound, Mississippi Jack, My Bonnie Light Horseman, and last is Rapture of the Deep. I fully intend on reading all of them, plus they are easy reads so I will probably finish them all before the end of the year. I'm using them as my AR points but I have to do a book report because there is no test. That's one thing I'm not going to miss from junior high. Having too get a certain number of AR points. In my opinion it dun be ridiculus. Anyway, back to the books, for anyone who wants a really good read and needs someone to suggest it on Shelfari, I'm your gal :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sophomore Class Presidency paper

This is the paper I wrote for being the sophomore class president.

Josie Drott
Opportunities and Options:
All Natural
You know those people who always seem to take charge of every situation and be the boss? Well, most of the officers seem to fit into that category. We have to be natural born leaders to have everyone in the school look up to us as role models. But even within the group of leaders, there has to be a “captain” that those people follow. You can’t just have a big bunch of people do whatever they want whenever they want to. You have to have system like a hierarchy so that there is order and people know what they need to do. We call it being President of the Sophomore Class.
Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses. In my case, my strength is taking charge of every situation. Whether it is a small ten-minute assignment at the beginning of class or a term project with a group of twenty people, I always find a way to take the lead in the situation. People gravitate towards me because they know that I will do my best to get the assignment done as efficiently as possible; they know that I will help them know exactly what to do. Some people may think that that is just being cocky, but I think that being the best you possibly can and helping others at the same time is a good thing.
But of course, I don’t always get to be the boss. I try my hardest to get the position, but I‘m willing to be a follower as well as a leader. I embrace the leadership of others, and try to see how their way can perhaps be better than mine. Then I help them and pitch in some of my ideas if they haven’t already thought of them.
This makes me a good choice for being the Sophomore Class President. I can take charge of a situation because I am a natural born leader, but I can also be totally chill with someone else leading as long as I get to help. I would love the job, but I will also back whoever has it. It’s in my nature to be happy with any position I get so long as I get to assist with everything.

Hell Yeah!

I MADE OFFICER! YAY! Sorry, my life just seems to be getting better by the second! I am so happy it's like not even funny! You should have seen me when I found out I made it! I was jumping up and down and all that fun stuff! But I can barely remember it now because it was at like five o'clock in the morning... I feel so bad though! Sarah introduced me to the whole idea and I made it and she didn't! I feel like such a jerk! But it's hard to feel bad when you feel good! Kalie (or however you spell her name :S) B. didn't make it either! I feel like a jerk... Anyway, our first assignment is to write a one page report about why we would make a good Class President, so I'm going to do that after I'm all done with this. I have no idea what I'm going to say though. I mean, I already made it in, why does it matter if I'm president?! But on May 7th we're going in for getting measurements for our jackets and we have to have a 100 dollar deposit! But my parents are paying for it so I don't really care! I am so excited! Oh yeah, one more thing. The rack meet on Friday rocked too!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

...

Um... yeah... I kinda haven't written on the for like over two weeks... I have thought up several really good excuses... but I don't particularly want to say them 'cause then I'll feel lame.... But I have a plan! Don't worry! I will put A LOT of words down... :)! First off I would just like to say a couple of things... First off, today was my interview at NORTHRIDGE for sophomore officer and I'm pretty sure I did AMAZINGLY! We find out on Thursday night! I'm so nervous! But I really think I have a chance! YAY! And the next thing I have to say is-- why... I don't think I have anything else I would like to say on this. I mean, I have a lot of thing to say, but not for public internet's eyes. If that even makes sense. But right now I'm writing a story called Unbegun Butterfly, and I'm going to post the first couple of pages on here. I know that unbegun isn't really a word, but it sound like one and I like it. The title wont make sense unless you read the whole book (which I haven't finished yet) but that's okay. All I ask, and I will say this again, is that you don't say anything about it because it's a first draft and I know it's retarded. I always seem to loose my pizzaz when people try to help me. I wonder if that is metaphorical for life....

Saturday, April 4, 2009

{Untitled Document} (but not really...)

I only have that as my title because I can't think of anything to say. It's like, I always say the title, but then it ends up evolving and changing and it is no longer what it was originally. So now I can talk about whatever I want on this entry. First off, I would just like to say that right now I should be sun-bathing on a giant cruise ship in Porter Rico (cause I have no idea how to spell that and my stupid mom wont tell me). And we were suppose to be there for ten days going on excurtions in the Southern Carribbean. I hate my life. My sister (who deserves things evil to happen to her [really evil]) just started talking about how we should be in the sunshine! I hate her guts! UGH! Well now I know what I should title this document as. Hate, Anger, and Sunshine. But I'm not going to because then I would have to delete some of the things I said and I would have less words.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

:D

Okay, so everyone knows that I've been feeling only slightly *cough cough really cough* crappy lately partly because of personal things, but also because of of one boy imparticular. Well, I just wanted everyone to know that that has all changed. I wont get into the details of it on a public website, but I really truely haven't smiled so hard in a really long time. I just can't stop. And I really don't want to. Junior high boys are just so immature. :D

Friday, March 27, 2009

Lazy!

Why, I think that I am getting rather lazy in my old age *said with a British accent*. I don't know what I am on today, but I sure do feel fantastic! Maybe it's the fact that I only have three more performances and two more days of the musical then I get my life back! No no no, I know what it is! I finished Walk Two Moons and absolutely loved it (even though it made me cry)! No wait, it's because I got a different seat in French! Yeah! Oh, no wait, I know exactly why I feel so gosh darn good right now: It's because my dad is getting BETTER! YEAH! But we're not going to talk about that right now! Right now we're going to talk about... how to apply stage make up! First, you have to put a very thick coat of base on. Then (and this is may pattern) you put bronzer all over your face. Then, you put blush on top of that. And then you have to put on very thick eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara. Finally, you put lip liner on and lipstick and viola! You're ready to go on stage! Or out into public as is the case with my sister. That was a joke! You all should be laughing! I'm going to stop writing now because I have to go and do exactly what I just explained!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The REAL End of 3rd Term

So Friday was the first day of spirng which is the happiest news ever! And which happens to be the only happy news in my life right now. You see spring is my favorite season and it means that in just about 13 days I will be sitting on a giant cruise boat in the southern Caribbean turning into a lobster. But on the flipside we might not get to do many of the activities because of... personal reasons. I'm still really excited though. I got about 40 AR points so I have an A in English, and my math grade is going up. But my French grade is now a B. I really hope she puts more grades in because it will take me down which is not good. Not good at all. I don't really have much to say right now. I'm still really tired. That and I simply can't think of what to write on this anymore. Except one thing which is how betrayed I feel. I didn't say angry because that not the right word, but I do feel very betrayed. And I don't like the feeling at all.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

End of Term 3

This probably wont be my last blog post for 3rd term... but I'm calling it that anyway. So our French 3 class is doing our French plays on MONDAY and like none of us are prepared. So on Monday we have to be at school at 7:00 to practice some more, then we get to embarass ourselves in front of the entire school. Seven times. And because of the plays Ms. C hasn't put grades in for almost a month and I still have a B+ in that class. And an A- in both math and English. Which sucks because I probably wont make it up by next week. And guess what else. This week for the musical is Hell Week. In my last entry I said that nothing else matters 'cause I'm going to Northridge, well I'm still way excited, but I've realized something. I still have to get through that rest of junior high before I can go there. :P. Oh, and one more thing. I officially have 0 AR points.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD! I'm going to Northridge High School! This is the best thing that has ever happened to me... EVER! I have to be the happiest person alive right now! Life has never felt so good and so fair and so just and so wonderful and beautiful and amazing! You wanna know why? Because I'm going to NORTHRIDGE HIGH SCHOOL! I really want to record the story on here but I can't! So I just want all of you to know that I'm never ever going to be depressed again 'cause this is the best thing that could possibly happen to me! In a time of great sorrow in my life, there is happiness! I would said a light at the end of the tunnel, but that just doesn't quite sum it up. It's like looking strait into the sun! My mom and my sister and my dad are all happy as can be! Not as happy me, granted, but still happy! I feel bad for all the friends I'll be leaving, but then I remember that I'm going to NORTHRIDGE HIGH SCHOOL and all those sad feelings are gone! All I have to do is survive one more term (and a couple of weeks) and I'll be good! LIFE ROCKS! Oh yeah, and I got 93% on my biology test :)

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Depression

I don't think I've ever felt so horrible in my life. I mean, I've had bad days and all, but this is on a whole new level. I looked up the definition of depressed and I have all the symptoms: a state of sadness or hopelessness, dejection, poor concentration, lack of energy, and an inability to sleep. It's no ones fault, no one but my own. And I don't even care that I'm spilling personal stuff onto the internet. I'm so tired and I just want everything to end. Nothing can make me happy anymore. Things can make me really angry like something right now is doing, but nothing can make me happy. I bet no one would care if I just disappeared. Like if I moved to China with my mom everyone would be like, "Hey, what happened to that girl with the short hair and glasses?" two months later. Not that I can. Yet another reason to be depressed. I have a list going. But I can't tell you guys. Sorry. Not really.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dancing Queen

Dancing Queen

Most everyone has been to at least one school dance in their lifetime, but junior high dances are a breed of their own. In high school, everybody is pretty much the same size and close to the same emotional maturity. In junior high, there is a huge difference in the physical and social maturity of the seventh graders and ninth graders: some seventh graders in our school look more like third graders compared to the kids in ninth grade. Figuring out what to wear is one of the biggest challenges junior high kids face, especially girls. In addition, the social ramifications of a junior high dance can change your public landscape- sometimes permanently. Recently, there was a dance at our school, Fairfield Jr. High, which demonstrated this strange world.

We have a tradition at our school dances where all the girls throw in one of their shoes to the middle of the cafeteria. Then the boys rush in, and hoping to get the shoe belonging to the girl of their choice, grab one; then the two dance. At our school dance a couple of weeks ago, I participated in this ritual. I spent the first half of the song finding the boy who had snatched up my shoe, but success was eventually mine. When I saw who was to be my partner, I was astonished. A tiny seventh grader whose head barely reached my shoulder had actually taken a chance and grabbed a shoe. It was an awkward dance because I, a ninth grader, had to teach a little boy how to dance. “You put one hand here, and the other hear,” I instructed. I indulged him because he had been brave enough to take a shoe, but I find that dancing with kids your own age is a tad bit more enjoyable. But before I even got to the dance, I was faced with the most difficult decision of what to wear.

When you look around on dance days at all the different outfits people are wearing, you can tell a lot. Many people don’t even attend dances, and some people get all totally decked out. I happen to be one of the girls who goes to the extremes. I probably spend more time picking out a cute outfit for the dance than the dance actually lasts. “Mom! I don’t know what to wear,” I say this every time a dance comes up. Shirts, skirts, shoes, and jewelry are all very important to me, so I use only the best. Everything has to match perfectly and be coordinated with all the other articles I wear. When I get to school and see maybe two or three other people dressed up like me, it tells me a lot. I find out who really cares about this kind of thing and who doesn’t. The girls, and occasionally boys, who get all dressed up for dances are usually the one who dance on every song - and who you dance with can certainly change everything.

Usually I dance with just my friends and, if I’m lucky, the guys I like. For me, a dance has never “started” anything with anyone. Until now, that is. I stood there dancing with one boy who I was very good friends with, and suddenly I felt something that I never had felt before. You could almost see the sparks flying around us. It was probably the most enjoyable dance I’ve ever had. It has changed a lot of things for me, all for the better. There are also many instances where dancing can ruin relationships. Someone could say no, a very rare situation, but it’s happened to me. The dance can be awkward to the extreme, also one of my personal experiences. I know for a fact that a dance can make or break feelings for someone.

Junior high dances are amazing things if you can learn to navigate them properly. Although the differences between the age groups are huge, deciding what to wear causes great anxiety, and a single two-minute dance can change everything, I still love them. After years of experience like I’ve had, you can’t help it. In health or in sickness, for better or for worse, I’ll always end up going.